growing up...at 28

Well, I just got accepted to a new school today.  I've really been looking forward to making some changes and my plan of action was heavily dependant on transferring schools.  I am going to get a journalism degree from a very good program and the whole thing seems quite strange right now.  For the longest time I really didn't have much of a plan at all.  Around my 26th birthday something (probably age) made me feel like I needed to do more to develop a sense of security.  The easiest way I could begin to develop that sense was to go back to school.  I suppose the decision was inspired at the time, but my focus had very little long term potential to fulfill my needs.  I grew up in a time when a lot of people were praising the benefits of studying technology related fields like computers to young people who wanted to be sensible and put themselves in a secure position to start enjoying their piece of the "American Dream".  Simultaneously, I grew up in an environment where I was always encouraged to find what I loved to do and pursue it.  This notion was often taken to the point of talking about a divine purpose and a life that would be hopelessly unfulfilled without it.  I suppose, as I look towards the crossroads I find myself at, and look back at what brought me to this point, the road I will soon travel is a combination of both philosophies.  I have spent the last two years working on a computer degree to satisfy that need for security in the most practical way I knew how.  However, staring down the barrel of a lifetime in a field that I don't even think I have much passion left or made it clear that a change was needed.  I don't think I'm ready to say that there is only one "calling" in life, but I do believe I need to find a place in the world that lets me do something I love to do.  It is strange to feel like I will love doing something that I have very little experience with, but I think that's where I am at right now.  So, I will write.  This blog that no one knows about, the assignments given to me by professors that will never let me know they are pleased with my work (even when they are), for the official and unofficial media outlets I will have access to, and I will write things for myself that no one will ever read.  I have no idea what to expect, or how good I will be at it, because it's something I haven't done very much.  To be honest, I'm not really that worried about any of it.  I probably should be, but I'm not.  I'm not because for the first time in at least a decade, I feel like I am doing something for me and no one else.  If that passion can be shared, then great, but I don't need to share it to enjoy it.  I don't think it warrants a pretentious title like a "calling", but it is a means to an end.  This path has a kind if security I didn't realize I needed.  It has the kind of mental and emotional security my life has lacked up to this point.  I think I'm gonna sleep well tonight.